“Notes on Being a Man

 

By Scott Galloway

 

Simon & Schuster, 304 pages, $29

 

My female students at the University of Virginia are worried about the state of the opposite sex. The women who take my "sociology of family" class tell of brothers living in their parents' basements, boyfriends hooked on pornography and male peers who don't pull their weight in group projects. Most troublingly, many of these women say they have never been asked on a date. Their voices are part of a rising chorus expressing concern about the falling fortunes of our boys and men.

 

There is good reason for concern. "The data around boys and men is overwhelming," writes Scott Galloway, a popular podcaster, serial entrepreneur and professor of marketing at New York University.

 

As Mr. Galloway points out, the share of young men who are "neither in school nor working has tripled since 1980"; meanwhile, 60% of young men between the ages of 18 and 24 still live with their parents and, according to Mr. Galloway, 45% of young men have never even approached a woman in person. This male malaise is driving "deaths of despair -- suicide, drug overdoses, alcohol poisoning" to record highs among men, especially working-class men.

 

As Mr. Galloway observes in "Notes on Being a Man" -- his powerful, personal and prophetic meditation on manhood -- this is bad for men (and women) but also bad for the country. A "large and growing cohort of bored, lonely, poorly educated men is a malevolent force in any society," he writes, adding that these unmoored men are vulnerable to "conspiracy theories, radicalization, and nihilist politics." The truth of this observation is all too visible both online and in politics today.

 

Why are so many boys and men floundering? Mr. Galloway's life experience and professional perspective -- he was raised by a single mom and struggled through California's public-school system before eventually succeeding in Silicon Valley -- point to three problems. First, family breakdown is a big factor, as too many "boys come apart" when dad leaves; if dad is not married to mom, we are told, "the son is more likely to be incarcerated than graduate from college." Second, schools are failing to engage and inspire boys because there is a "dearth of male teachers"; meanwhile, too many books, rules and classes are not calibrated to the male spirit. Third, too many boys and young men are getting hooked on the gaming, gambling, social media and pornography produced by our "addiction economy," thereby causing them to lose their drive and ability to socialize, learn, date, work and form a family.

 

Our culture has failed them too. Mr. Galloway discusses the lack of clear and compelling models of masculinity around which young men can build their lives. These men are not measuring up, in part, because they have been given nothing to aim for as men.

 

The "aspirational vision of masculinity" Mr. Galloway offers is old school, centered around reviving men's capacity to protect, provide and procreate. He challenges men to get offline and develop the physical and emotional strength to protect the women in their lives, as well as their communities and country. He knows that when men embrace the protector role by cultivating physical and emotional fitness they feel better about themselves and are more attractive to women.

 

Without denying women's contributions in the workplace, Mr. Galloway makes it clear that he thinks, generally, that men have an especially strong "economic responsibility" for providing for their families. Men who embrace this responsibility offer financial stability for their families, earn the respect of their wives, create wealth in their community and enjoy greater social standing among their peers. In leaning into the man's role as provider, Mr. Galloway is aware that a growing number of men are failing in this capacity and that the idea of male providership has, at best, almost no public currency; at worst, it is actively rejected as a throwback to the bad old days. But Mr. Galloway is right to take a stand here: Men are still much more likely to earn the admiration, affection and ardor of their wives, and gain an important measure of self-respect, when they are reliable breadwinners for their families (even if their wives work).

 

Finally, man's role as procreator. Mr. Galloway thinks men's natural sex drive is generally a good thing, both because it has historically motivated men to make their mark on the world in the hopes of impressing a woman, and leads them, in many cases, to embrace love, family and fatherhood. Although he's a little fuzzy on the role that marriage plays in taming and directing men's sexual drive, Mr. Galloway understands that a "good procreator invests time, energy, and resources to raise kids who are stronger, smarter, faster, and more impressive than him." He also points out that pornography often functions as a "masculinity-killer" that dissipates one's "sexual energy for and toward your wife."

 

Mr. Galloway's willingness to embrace the three "Ps" -- protecting, providing and procreating -- as pillars of an aspirational masculinity designed for young men aiming to escape the male malaise is especially welcome and surprising because the author is no conservative. Maybe there is hope after all for the rising generation of boys and men if even a heterodox public intellectual like Scott Galloway is willing to offer such traditional medicine for our contemporary male maladies.

 

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Mr. Wilcox is a professor of sociology at the University of Virginia, a nonresident fellow at the American Enterprise Institute and the author of "Get Married."” [1]

 

1. Protect, Provide, Even Procreate. Wilcox, Brad.  Wall Street Journal, Eastern edition; New York, N.Y.. 10 Dec 2025: A13.