Turning Points: Author Shares Tips On Growing Old Well

“Judith Viorst, 94, author and humorist, tackles how to age well in her latest book, offering lessons from her own life and fellow oldsters on making meaning in later life, even as much slips away.

 

In other words, how to enjoy not being dead.

 

Viorst, who has written more than 40 books, including the children's classic "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day," lost her husband and moved from her beloved family home. She is seeing more specialists these days.

 

Dealing with losses of loved ones and places, something shared by many in later years, she wondered "How do we make meaning at this time of life?"

 

The resulting "Making the Best of What's Left" was written not just for her peers, but for anyone with parents, relatives or friends in what she calls the "final fifth."

 

It's also for those simply contemplating how they want to grow old.

 

Cindy Burnett, 57, a book columnist and host of Thoughts from a Page podcast, has long worried about aging.

 

Her mom died unexpectedly of a stroke. Her dad had Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. Caring for both and knowing such diseases run in her family, aging's toll is always on her mind.

 

She found the book reassuring. "Honestly, this made me feel less worried," she says. While frank about the difficulties in aging, Burnett says she found humor, joy and advice about the importance of being positive, maintaining friendships and letting go of things that don't matter.

 

"When I was pregnant there were so many things no one told me. I would rather know what is coming (in age) and be prepared, rather than 'holy crap,'" says Burnett.

 

Those 80 and older -- numbering more than 12.7 million -- are the fastest-growing age group in the U.S. While they share a chronological age, they have different experiences and attitudes about aging. Some fare well, others don't.

 

Viorst says she wanted to get an A-Plus in aging and began researching how. She interviewed her peers as they stood in line for Covid shots and made their way to dinner. She asked if they believed in the afterlife, where they found joy and purpose, and if they ever felt invisible.

 

Certain themes emerged, including the importance of new friendships and interdependence. "People my age take care of each other," she says, accompanying each other to a doctor's appointment or bringing over a meal.

 

She offers advice. Ask for help, she says, which older adults don't like to do.

 

"Asking for help is a good way not to fall down," says Viorst. She includes wisdom from peers -- don't rely on your kids for your social life -- and debates whether it's too late to reupholster chairs, a question she asked her doctor. He recommended reupholstering, endearing himself.

 

Aging well means keeping your mind sharp and engaged. Although many friends love Wordle and crossword puzzles, Viorst memorizes poems. "Poems are nice things to have sitting around in your head."

 

There's a chapter on happiness.

 

Having a sense of humor helps. So does not sulking when kids don't invite you on their vacation or forget to send Mother's Day cards.

 

"I had aunts growing up, who were so talented at collecting hurt feelings at minor offenses," she says.

 

Viorst, who scolds herself and peers for whining too much, says life is too short for hurt feelings.

 

No matter how old you are, she says, you can try to make things better, which provides a sense of purpose. "We haven't left yet," she says. "There is work that even we old folks can do." For Viorst, that meant sending out 1,000 postcards to encourage people to vote.

 

She also explores the natural tension between adult kids and their parents. "Our kids wish to keep us safe at all costs, and we want to maintain our autonomy at all costs," says Viorst.

 

She sees it play out in "funny and not so funny ways." Funny is when kids inspect their parent's refrigerator, check expiration dates on yogurt and sniff sponges before tossing them in the garbage. Not funny is when they take away the car keys.

 

Old age, she says, makes you live more in the present and savor the moment, whether you're enjoying a glass of chocolate milk, a grandchild's phone call or conversation with friends.

 

Her favorite proverb, which is included in the book, is this: "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."” [1]

 

1. Turning Points: Author Shares Tips On Growing Old Well. Ansberry, Clare.  Wall Street Journal, Eastern edition; New York, N.Y.. 06 Jan 2026: A10.