My Husband Really Wants a Japanese Toilet

"Some adolescents get all their news and information from TikTok. My husband gets most of his from "South Park."

Ever since last year when he saw an episode called "Japanese Toilet" extolling the virtues of smart toilets, he's been desperate to buy one. In the intervening months he's made me watch that episode of the animated series three times, which I finally realized was a subtle campaign to make me think a toilet that sprays water on your butt was "better for the planet." I will not make the obvious pun about which planet he was referring to.

"Don't be a pawn of Big Toilet Paper," he warned.

Finally, I was unable to take the lobbying and agreed to go to Home Depot. My husband was heartbroken that unlike what he saw on "South Park," there was no special Japanese toilet area cordoned off with a red velvet rope, nor someone plying high rollers with Champagne.

In fact, there were no smart toilets for sale at all (although Home Depot offers them online, for prices ranging from under $400 for a plug-in toilet with a visible wall cord to $6,467 for a Kohler model with gold trim on its lid). When my husband approached one of the helpful, orange-aproned salesmen, the man seemed mystified: "Smart toilet? What, does it do math?"

I hope so -- because that might explain their sudden surge in popularity in the U.S. A startling (to me) 60% of designers predict that these high-tech fixtures will be the bathroom feature most requested by clients in the next three years, according to the National Kitchen and Bath Association's 2024 trends report. That's a sharp increase from the previous year, when only 16% of designers reported interest from their clients.

It's surprising to me that so many people would consider replacing a foolproof and essential household fixture, which has nothing more complicated to fix than a flapper and chain, with an electronic appliance. "You should check the warranty if you buy one, but in my experience I have not heard of malfunctions," said Nashville, Tenn., designer Katie Vance, who has installed smart toilets in high-use situations like restaurants.

Many people still find the concept of a toilet that rinses and blow-dries you somewhat confusing. When I googled "smart toilets," one of the top search results was the question "Are you still wet after using a smart toilet?"

"Some people are still scared of it, and a few years ago when I moved to Europe, where they are popular, I had to YouTube 'How do I even use this thing,' " confessed Norbert Schmidt, Kohler's North American kitchen and bath division president.

But now that Schmidt has a top-of-the-line Kohler Numi 2.0 -- which retails for $8,625 -- in his own bathroom, he said there's no going back. "Heated seat, lights, it's got all the bells and whistles. If I get up in the middle of the night, all I have to do is get to the bathroom -- and the lights come on and guide me in."

It also turns out that there is something to the argument that smart toilets -- first popularized by Toto in Japan, where more people have them than microwaves -- are environmentally friendly because they obviate the need for toilet paper and employ low-flush technology, which will save water if you don't spend too much time spraying yourself.

Smart toilets have come a long way since 1980, when Toto introduced its first generation of Washlet bidet seats, which sit atop standard toilets and spray water upward at what has been determined to be a "golden angle" (43 degrees). Fast forward to today, when in addition to the 60 million Washlets ($350 and up) in use worldwide, Toto's Neorest line of smart toilets ($6,036 to $22,078) offers a mind-boggling menu of features, from dual-action sprays with oscillating and pulsating features to memory settings for up to four users.

"For guys who sit down and go, when they lift the seat up, sometimes there's a yellow ring, but we've created a spray mist to actually clean the underside of the seat," said William Strang, president of Toto USA. "And you never have to double flush because we have added features to spray the dry porcelain with a mist before use to improve lubricity and help the toilet flush more cleanly."

I live in a circa-1926 grandma-style cottage. Would the low-slung, minimal silhouette of a smart toilet in the bathroom be attractive?

"Well, I don't know how much you want to use the word 'attractive' for any toilet, but they are becoming statement pieces, kind of like free-standing bathtubs did," said Nar Bustamante, a Sacramento, Calif., interior designer. "The difference is there are people who buy tubs who don't bathe in them. But with a smart toilet, you definitely want to use it."

Miami architect Sandra Diaz-Velasco said smart toilets are an important element for clients who want to make a bathroom feel like a serene spa.

"The way you can control your car for a specific driver, we can integrate smart toilets with smart lighting systems to create an atmosphere -- and when you walk into the bathroom, the seat will be a certain temperature, and the water will move in the bidet the way you like it, to create an exquisite experience," she said.

An exquisite experience has hidden costs, however. For one thing, it requires electricity. Washlet owners "often buy extension cords and plug into where the hair dryer goes," according to Strang of Toto. But installing a full-featured smart toilet requires professional help: an electrician to run a power supply through a wall, a plumber to supply adequate water and -- if tile needs to be replaced -- a contractor.

For that reason, the typical customer is someone who is remodeling, said Dean Camastro, northeast regional sales manager at Duravit USA.

I reported my findings to my husband.

"Memory settings for up to four users," my husband marveled. "That means two of our three daughters could have their own presets! Can we take the plunge?"

"Yes, the next time we remodel," I said. That should buy me another decade -- and by then, with artificial intelligence, they'll probably be able to install themselves." [1]

1.  OFF DUTY --- Design & Decorating -- A Matter of Life and Decor: Help: My Husband Really Wants a Japanese Toilet. Slatalla, Michelle.  Wall Street Journal, Eastern edition; New York, N.Y.. 12 Oct 2024: D.12.