Design & Decorating: Renovating? Read This First. --- You've sketched a plan, solicited bids -- even made a 'vision board.' Great, but take it from someone who's been there: Sometimes the only way to learn the hard lessons of home remodeling is to live it

"Some kids collect baseball cards. Me? By age 13, I was blowing my allowance on Bakelite flatware and Art Deco dressing tables. So when, 12 years ago, my husband and I bought a 140-year-old fixer-upper in Gowanus, Brooklyn, and embarked on a soup-to-nuts renovation, it seemed thrillingly inevitable. I'd watched all the shows, read all the magazines and thought I knew the rules -- get multiple bids, pad your bottom line and don't forget to send presents to the neighbors. What could go wrong?

The answer, of course, was just about everything. Subcontractors defected, architects dropped dead (yes, you read that right), budgets ballooned, appliances busted. In the end, the project took 16 months -- and what felt like 16 years off my life. But the upshot was a stylish home and a new perspective on what it takes to do the job right. (Evidence: Eight years later, we moved and did it all over again -- with fewer, or at least different, mistakes.) Toying with taking the plunge yourself? Here, care of my hard-won wisdom and that of industry vets, a few lessons to keep in mind before even reaching for a paint sample.

One recommendation isn't enough. You wouldn't marry someone on the basis of a single good date. Well, for the duration of a renovation, consider your general contractor your spouse. When I met my GC, he'd just wrapped a job for an architect friend with an exacting temperament -- all of which seemed auspicious. But months into our project, he stopped paying his subs -- a nightmare that never came up with my pal. "Unfortunately, a lot can change within a year in a business," said Carol Wang, a realtor in Brooklyn, N.Y., who's currently fixing up her own two-family home.

To protect yourself from conflict, delays and liens, check multiple references, time payments to reflect appreciable progress and always ask subcontractors for receipts.

It's not just milk that's gotten more expensive. Maybe you got a good deal on custom carpentry a few years ago; don't count on the same luck today. "I'm seeing renos that were $600,000 in 2019 coming in with bids three times that," said Wang. "One designer told me she assumes 8% to 11% inflation in every project." Bottom line:

 The old advice to budget 10% to 15% for unforeseen overages is hopelessly outdated. Think 25% to 30% instead.

Begin with the not-so-fun stuff. It's thrilling to order block-printed wallpaper and hand-glazed Moroccan tile, but blingy finishes are only as good as the structures they cover. "Boilers, plumbing, wiring -- that's where you say 'I just spent $17,000 and everything looks the same' -- but the underpinnings are everything," said Kelli Suozzo of Bowerbird Design in Red Bank, N.J. Don't want to run out of money for the sexy stuff -- or, you know, furniture? "Make sure you've covered the boring things first."

Make a list of must-haves -- and check it (more than) twice. When social worker Sara Goodliss started renovating her Dover, Mass., home a few years ago, she was adamant about one thing: heated bathroom floors. "But in the fog of nine million decisions, I forgot to remind the contractor that they were a priority -- until all the tile was down and I realized it had never been executed," she moaned.

That cool old piece? It's going to be a hassle. Antique house parts might look killer -- but chances are they'll take three times as long to install (and therefore cost you a pretty penny in labor) and depending on the skill of your crew, always look a little janky. I know because -- from a marble mantel salvaged from a Gloucester, Mass., sea captain's house to Edwardian-era doorknobs -- I bought almost nothing new for my first house. Which is why my bathroom doors never closed completely.

Plan for the long haul. Don't underestimate the exhaustion -- both physical and decision fatigue -- that long-term disruption to your home can cause. Around month 10 of our first project -- when my husband worked nights and my 1-year-old son and I were sleeping in a closet -- I came down with a raging case of stress-induced shingles. Philadelphia interior designer Michelle Gage cites her own marathon renovation as a cautionary tale. "Clients sign up for the dream, but living through years of work is way different than scrolling 'after' shots on Instagram," she said. The best defense? Get all your design decisions out of the way upfront -- preferably with a professional who can manage when your energy for minutiae inevitably flags. (Designers are pricey -- but so is divorce.) Also: Devise a long-range calendar with your partner that includes travel, holidays, even date nights. "Make it part of your whole life or you will burn out," said Gage. "I know because I did." [1]

1. OFF DUTY --- Design & Decorating: Renovating? Read This First. --- You've sketched a plan, solicited bids -- even made a 'vision board.' Great, but take it from someone who's been there: Sometimes the only way to learn the hard lessons of home remodeling is to live it. Karnasiewicz, Sarah. 
Wall Street Journal, Eastern edition; New York, N.Y. [New York, N.Y]. 22 July 2023: D.4.